Abstract. Our lives are full of hopes and expectations; but are these hopes and expectations always understood by those whopractice in the healthcare system? What happens when communication breaks down? From my own experience I can tell youthat it leads to a lonely journey, a journey that, for the most part, left me feeling abandoned and desperately unhappy. Havingkept a journal throughout my pregnancy I was challenged by a neonatologist, Andrew Watkins, to write about the experienceand discuss hope, communication, costs and bioethics. The challenge arose after he heard of my journey, particularly as the storyresonated strongly with him. Although all topics are relevant, I would need to write a PhD to give full justice to all headings but,albeit briefly, I have included all areas. It is my invitation to you to experience a little of my journey; a journey where I chosenot to terminate my son diagnosed with a ‘lethal’ abnormality.